


The World Keeps Turning

by gemjam



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-28
Packaged: 2017-11-08 18:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemjam/pseuds/gemjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for flashfic prompt <i>unexpected holiday visit.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	The World Keeps Turning

Fernando was roused by a knock at the door, gentle but insistent. He shifted on the sofa, squinting in the dim light of the living room lit only by the flickering television, and wondered how long he’d been asleep.

There was another knock and Fernando sighed, forcing himself to sit up. He’d insisted to his family that he was fine, he had plans this evening, he’d be around for Christmas dinner tomorrow. He’d told a similar story to his friends, thanking them all for their hospitality but declining each invitation as it came. He wasn’t feeling very festive this year and he couldn’t stand the thought of having to keep up appearances. He’d make the effort for Christmas Day, but Christmas Eve, he decided, was when he was going to wallow.

Someone, apparently, wasn’t going to let him get away with that. He glanced at the table, the half-empty bottle of wine and wrappers from the Christmas chocolates he’d opened early, and wondered if he should hide them. If he looked too miserable, he’d probably never be left alone. But then there was another knock at the door and Fernando thought he better open it before they started to worry.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and tried to make himself look a little more awake, switching lights on as he went to make the place look at least slightly less depressing. When he finally opened the door, he blinked in surprise, his body freezing on the spot. This really wasn’t what he thought he was going to have to contend with tonight.

“Alright?” Lewis asked, shifting slightly awkwardly on his feet. Fernando just stared at him. Lewis sighed. “Yeah, I know, maybe I should’ve called first, but I thought you’d probably just tell me to fuck off.”

“Yes,” Fernando agreed blankly. “Probably.”

Lewis’s lips quirked up into a tiny smile and he ducked his head. When he lifted it again his tongue was poking out, resting thoughtfully against his top lip. It was more distracting than Fernando was willing to admit to himself.

“It’s Christmas,” Lewis finally said. Fernando nodded in agreement, unwilling to get drawn in until he knew where this was going. “Yeah, well, I just thought, y’know, what with... everything,” Lewis said awkwardly.

_Raquel._ Fernando thought her name not with bitterness or regret or even resignation. It wasn’t just a word to him, but it wasn’t what it used to be either. And while he’d never been keen to hear her name on Lewis’s lips, he wanted to shout at him for being so vague, wanted to tell him to just say what he fucking meant, but he couldn’t find the words, couldn’t even find the anger that were supposed to be behind them. Fernando had never been able to offer any commiserations over Nicole. Sometimes he felt like all of them lived so many lives and it wasn’t right to let them cross. And yet, here was Lewis, bag slung over his shoulder, turning up at his door on Christmas Eve. He didn’t know whether to call it a beginning or an end.

“Do you not have somewhere else to be?” he finally asked.

“Yeah,” Lewis replied. “If I want. Got all the usual offers. Family and all that. But I ended up here instead. I mean, I decided that...” He sighed, looking frustrated. “I thought you could use a friend. I know I could.”

Fernando stared at him. _Friend._ It was an alien word as far as they were concerned. They’d been a lot of things to each other, most of which Fernando had never really found a name for, but _friend_ didn’t seem to come close to what he felt for Lewis. Not then. Not now.

When they were sleeping together, when every fight would lead to frantic kisses and groping hands, every argument worked out through flesh and pain and pleasure, when Fernando thought that he loved and hated Lewis as much as he’d ever be able to, he never thought that they could ever become _friends._ And now, with the years and the calmness between them, they could talk in words that weren’t designed to sting, could hug and mean it, but that word still felt uneasy on his tongue. It wasn’t because this was a front, his amicable relationship with Lewis was as real as everything he’d ever known, but because Fernando had friends, and he’d never once felt for them the way he feels for Lewis. He just wished he understood what that meant.

Lewis adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “Should I go back to the airport?” he asked.

Fernando took a breath, realising he’d been quiet for far too long. All he’d wanted tonight was to be alone. His life had changed and he wanted time to take stock, to let the self-pity wash over him until he found out who he was going to be when he came out the other side of this. But as he looked into Lewis’s eyes, he knew that his life wasn’t done shifting yet.

“You have come all this way,” Fernando stated, opening the door wider as he moved aside. “I suppose that I could at least invite you in.”

Lewis’s face lit up in a smile. “Thanks, man,” he said warmly, offering Fernando a friendly slap on the shoulder as he stepped inside.


End file.
